I get messages like ‘I’ve never had sex with a Black guy before’ like I’m a rare collector’s item.
GAY BARS LONDON BLACK MEN SKIN
Martin relates his experiences: “I always feel like my skin colour is being fetishised.
In the survey, 82% of Black gay men reported they felt sexualised or objectified by white men on the gay scene. It’s almost impossible to talk about Black sexuality, gay or straight, without touching on white objectification of Black people, an issue black women know well. Others simply say their preference is ‘White only.’ Online dating sites have their own colour bar: their modern twist of ‘No Dogs, No Irish, No Blacks’ being ‘No chocolate, rice or spice’. The gay online scene, also reflects the reality of white gay men’s racism. The extent of gay racism extends into social media. The racism Black gay men face today seems to indicate that far too many white gay men have attitudes that reflect Britain's colonial era, with many expressing a crude and unreconstructed racism. I can’t pretend to be a different skin colour or race. In a sad comment he told FS: “I’d rather be somewhere that’s homophobic than somewhere that is racist, because I can pretend I’m straight. Here is Shabbs, a 31-year old South Asian man from Coventry recounting his experience of racism at the annual Gay Pride march: “Going to a gay pride event and hearing racist comments from gay men directed towards you makes you feel unwelcome in a community you want to be a part of,” he says. Wayne, also from London, reported, “The only approach I’ve had at a gay bar was when I was asked if I supplied drugs," further lamenting that this was “terrible behaviour, that was not only insulting, but humiliating, since I thought the approach made was due to a romantic intent.”Īsian and South Asian gay men report similar experiences. Gerry, a 35-year old mixed race guy from Glasgow, reported similar experiences: “I’m more conscious of my skin colour than my sexuality … people comment more on my skin in a derogatory manner.”Ĭarl from London told FS magazine: “White guys will generally only talk to a Black guy in a bar because that’s their sexual preference, otherwise they will ignore you.” every time I pass a drag queen who is MCing/DJing, I think to myself ‘please don’t make a racist comment…’” “I could sit here all day and tell you about them. Peter, a 23-year old Black man from Leeds, tells of the most repugnant racist remarks he is subjected to, particularly from drag queens. Nor is it surprising that 63% of Black and South Asian men said that racism is a bigger issue for them than homophobia. Not surprising then that 80% of Black guys, 79% of Asian guys, 75% of South Asian guys and 64% of mixed race guys who were interviewed in the survey had experienced racism from white gay men. The study interviewed 850 Black, Asian, South Asian, Arab and mixed race and white gay men on their views and experience of racism, and the results were shocking with one white gay male responding: “I actually feel physically sick at the sight of too much Black flesh”. FS Magazine (published by the gay men's health charity GMFA), recently highlighted this in a study. They are too fabulous to ignore.Within our communities we see how discrimination affects us, but Black women, Black people with disabilities and Black gays often face a double form of discrimination.Ī good example is the contentious issues raised when Black gays are involved in mixed relationships and that tension is reflected in the broader politics and culture of gay communities. I always think: If I had known these spaces – and the communities built around them – existed when I was growing up, it might not have taken me 24 years to understand my sexuality and to find home.
They range from alcohol-free meet-ups to cabaret nights for people of colour to the UK Black Pride festival.
While amazing Black queer events have run in the city for years, recently they have been thriving. Through them I have found romantic love, I have found support, I have found family and, most importantly, I have found myself. Fast forward to 2018 and I’m a queer-and-proud mixed-raced woman – and spaces for LGBTQ+ Black Londoners have become home to me.
GAY BARS LONDON BLACK MEN HOW TO
I was unsure of how to find a community and whether I would ever be able to make friends. So when I began to question my own sexuality a few years ago, I felt alone. I didn’t have any Black queer friends, let alone know anything about the community. Growing up, I never knew that Black people could be queer.